What's new

Facing fears


New member
I'm writing this as the wheels of the airplane are leaving the ground. This is not a metaphor for anything, this is quite literally a huge fear of mine. I have to face this fear often. I have to travel for work and I really don't have a choice to avoid flying. It actually got a lot better for me as I kept doing it's, but its still a lot to handle. What are some things you do to lessen a fear? or do you avoid it at all costs?


New member
My method for dealing with fears is to confront them head-on but in a supportive environment. For example, I used to have a fear of public speaking. Once, in school, when asked to read my A+ essay out loud, I actually put my head down and cried.

I did a couple of things to get over this fear:

I identified the fear as something I needed to overcome. There are some fears that I have never really needed to confront because I don't encounter them often. I might not like snakes but I live in the city, I only see them at zoos, and the chance that I will have to pick one up and carry it around with me is nil. But public speaking is directly relevant to my career and only by overcoming it can I excel. Once I realized that for myself, I became much more motivated to put myself in situations that scared me. I talked to people I trust about why public speaking scared me. I was afraid of public speaking because I didn't like being the center of attention. I was afraid people would laugh at me, ridicule me, or tear down my ideas. I wasn't sure how to respond if they did.

Once my support group knew of my fear, they found ways to put me in situations where I had to speak publicly. But they did so where they knew the audience would be receptive and understanding. At my place of worship, a mentor encouraged me to serve on a committee that connected my passion for writing with leadership. Not only did I get some great experience, there were many opportunities for me to engage in impromptu public speaking. But because the committee was only about 10 people who shared the same passion, it didn't feel scary after the first few times. Then, with my support group's help, I gained the confidence to try for bigger audiences and open-ended situations. With each additional success, my fear lessened and I started to enjoy public speaking. I also learned how other people deal with the fear and I came out of the process with much more empathy for the people who do it well.

In terms of your fear, here are some tips:
1) Pinpoint the root cause of your fear of flying. What don't you like about it? Is it take-off or touchdown? Is it being in the air? Is it being around other people in a confined space for several hours?
2) Understand for yourself why you need to get over the fear. You said that you travel often for work. Is flying something you can avoid in your line? If flying is critical to your work, imagine how much easier life would be if you weren't afraid of it. (Actually visualize in your mind - or draw it out - how that would feel.)
3) Talk to a friend about your fear. S/he may be able to suggest ways to confront the fear. Or maybe you can find a support group online of businesspeople who have a fear of flying but have to travel. What tips do they have for you?
4) Put those tips into practice. Make sure you're targeting the root cause of your fear. Maybe have a close friend or someone else you trust for the first few times so that if you go into panic mode, you're not alone.

Hope this helps!


New member
I am the type to avoid fear at all costs; I LOATHE this quality, lol! I am a pretty scared/nervous person when it comes to getting out of my element/trying new things or forcing myself to do anything I'm uncomfortable with. Often times, these things are like basic life things i.e. calling people on the phone to set up appointments, going back to school. Things I know are necessary and honestly beneficial in the long run. Sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me and I successfully hide from whatever's challenging me. More recently, however, I've been forcing myself to do the things because self-growth is so important to me and I know that if I'm not taking risks, I'm not growing. It's simply a fact I've learned to accept. Easier said than done I know, and to be honest I totally understand your fear of flying. My only hope is the more that we do these things, the easier it will become to deal with them. I definitely think we get stronger every time we conquer our fears.


New member
I also have a terrible fear of flying but I LOVE traveling. Honestly, the only help I've found is using anti-anxiety medications when needed from my doctor. Sometimes there just no way to cope with it.


New member
After hearing about so many plane incidents, I also get very anxious with flying. But perhaps the biggest fear I face is standing up for myself and speaking out against injustices. Despite how strongly I often feel, it is that fear of being judged for my beliefs or being forced to argue my case that usually keeps me from speaking up. How I combat them? I pray. I meditate on the situation. And I have confidence. I find that most things in life are able to be faced with faith, confidence, and positivity. Wishing you all the best with you flight endeavors! Have faith and stay confident!


New member
This is slightly off topic, but may be helpful for those who are afraid of flying:

I also am extremely afraid of flying but have found relief through EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). It may sound a bit crazy to those who are new to energy work, but it follows the same principles as acupuncture. The technique combines tapping on acupressure points and positive affirmations; in this case, "I am safe to fly. I soar through the sky with ease. Etc". I start doing it a couple of days before I have to fly and also before I leave for the airport. It is supposed to release fear and bad energy that is stuck within your body's energy channels. EFT has worked wonders for my fear of flying. You can find short 10-minute videos on YouTube. I am a personal fan of Brad Yates "Fear of Flying" video. I don't know what I would do without it!


New member
I'm writing this as the wheels of the airplane are leaving the ground. This is not a metaphor for anything, this is quite literally a huge fear of mine. I have to face this fear often. I have to travel for work and I really don't have a choice to avoid flying. It actually got a lot better for me as I kept doing it's, but its still a lot to handle. What are some things you do to lessen a fear? or do you avoid it at all costs?
I have a fear of flying, and I had to take Ativan for several years to fly. I no longer have to take medication since I’ve come up with a plan that works for me. I would think this plan can be adapted to other fears besides flying. There are three parts to it:

1) Mindfulness
The part of flying that I really dislike is the turbulence (any turbulence, even if mild). When I experience turbulence, I use my clothing or some other object that is at hand and rub it between my fingers. I think of its texture, its purpose, and other things that are related to the object.

Here is an example that I just used on a flight yesterday. I felt the cord of my earbuds. I felt the plastic and another narrow thread going around the outside. I thought about how that thread was probably nylon or something to strengthen the cord. I thought about how the cord allowed me to hear my favorite music.

The purpose of the mindfulness is to get your mind in the present. While I was thinking about the earbud cord, I was not thinking about how I dislike turbulence, or how I am unreasonably afraid that the turbulence is dangerous.

2) Mantra
I found a good mantra for my fear of turbulence, which I repeat to myself on a regular basis when I fly: “Turbulence is a matter of comfort, not of safety”.

A mantra kind of serves the same purpose as the mindfulness exercise: occupying your mind with something so that it does not go down paths of fear, like thinking the plane is going to crash, or thinking you can’t handle the turbulence. It serves as a focal point for your thoughts.

3) Visualization
I have come up with some silly visualizations about flying, but they work for me. I visualize very long poles that go down to the ground from the plane with wheels on the bottom. I also visualize the plane “swimming” through an ocean of air, and just like when you swim near the edge of a pool and the waves can bounce back and buffet you a bit, I visualize the air “bouncing back” and doing sort of the same thing to the plane, causing mild turbulence.

I hope you have found this helpful.