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Your "Faults" are not actually faults

annelill

New member
I've struggled most of my life trying to accept and deal with my "faults" as others have pointed them out to me. But it wasn't until a loved one threw many of my faults in my face and put me on a path of self-discovery and self-acceptance that I began to not see my "faults" as bad things. I started to realize that what others see as faults are just additional facets of my personality. In fact, as I started to talk to others in my life about these issues, I learned that many close to me saw these not as faults but just as parts of my personality or even strengths. Although this has been a long journey for me, I recommend to anyone who struggles with their "faults" to try and start addressing them head on to learn that maybe they are just another aspect of you that someone loves you for. Has anyone else had similar experiences?
 

JonQuinnHubble

New member
Hello! I think this is very important, as I believe if you do not accept your faults, you cannot truly experience happiness.

I am also glad to read this, as it reminded of something that a mentor of mine shared with me several years ago. There is something called a "Moral Inventory", which is actually the focus of the 4th step of Alcoholics Anonymous. While the original goal of this was to be for people struggling with addiction, it can still be a useful tool for anyone to begin to understand one's self. The basis of a Moral Inventory is digging deep into yourself to begin to acknowledge your faults. It can be compared to cleansing yourself in order to start off with a clean slate.

For anyone struggling, I recommend finding someone to share this experience with.
 

elJohny99

New member
I think that sometimes you need to balance things. You need to respect yourself, but at the same time, you need to still stay motivated. Going too much, either way, will be counterproductive. If you think too highly of yourself, you won't try to fix any of your flaws (we are humans, we are not perfect), but again, you need to respect yourself for everything you are.
 

annelill

New member
I think that sometimes you need to balance things. You need to respect yourself, but at the same time, you need to still stay motivated. Going too much, either way, will be counterproductive. If you think too highly of yourself, you won't try to fix any of your flaws (we are humans, we are not perfect), but again, you need to respect yourself for everything you are.
Very true, I suppose I don't want to say that you should see yourself as completely flawless, because that leads down a bad road toward egotism. I think you hit it on the head by saying you need to lear how to respect yourself. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't just accept what everyone says is your "faults" at face value, and learn what you actually truly believe to be faults. For example, I had many people tell me it was a bad thing that I was slightly on the quiet side. Eventually, I began to accept that about myself and talked to a close friend about it. She told me it was one of the things she admired about me; that I only talked when I felt necessary and I didn't just need to fill silence. It really changes your perspective
 

Genevieve

New member
Yes! I love your post! First, I am so happy that you have embraced yourself and changed the way you think about faults. Good for you! I believe that oftentimes are strengths and weaknesses are just opposite sides of the same coin and both sides are worthy parts of our personality. For example, I have been criticized for being too nice/co-dependent, but praised for my empathy and compassion. They go hand in hand, though. In the end, it doesn't matter how others perceive ME because I am ok with me. Good and bad, strengths and faults...all of me.
 

chsarahahmed

New member
I think that sometimes you need to balance things. You need to respect yourself, but at the same time, you need to still stay motivated. Going too much, either way, will be counterproductive. If you think too highly of yourself, you won't try to fix any of your flaws (we are humans, we are not perfect), but again, you need to respect yourself for everything you are.
I agree 100%. Striking a balance is important. If you don't see anything wrong with yourself, you're complacent and you'll never grow. But on the other hand, if you're excessively critical about your flaws, you don't really respect who you are. I think it is important to be able to look at yourself objectively and recognize all your strengths and weaknesses, virtues and vice, and decide to work to better yourself. But at the same time maintaining respect for who you are as a person and not undermine your self-worth.
 
Great post! This reminds me of the film Good Will Hunting, when Robin Williams' character discusses the things we call "imperfections," and notes how in reality, that is the good stuff. As we all know, nobody is perfect, we're all human, and considering there are over six billion of us coming from all walks of life and different cultures with different interests and different upbringings, of course we're all going to be different and have a plethora of these "imperfections."
 
Another thing I would ask myself, is whether these "faults" are negative, or simply just personality traits. That makes a huge difference to me, being able to classify whether they are something we would honestly and earnestly like to change about ourselves, or whether they are just something that is uniquely "us." The type of things that individually we may not like so much, but that our loved ones really love about us! :)
 

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