What's new

THE STRESSES OF PARENTING

JBee

New member
I've been a parent for almost 11 years now. My daughter is 10 1/2, my son is almost 4, and I am currently 34 weeks pregnant. So I am not new to this at all. But never in my whole life of parenting have I experienced what I did yesterday at the Target shopping store. Because he couldn't have what he wanted, my toddler son decided to throw a tantrum in front everyone - that lasted from checkout all the way to the car. He cried, he screamed, he kicked, he yelled, and he fought as if I was a stranger trying to kidnap him. I am pregnant and was not able to pick him up or handle him like I wanted -- and the father was at work so I was by myself. It was so crazy that a stranger had to come and help me with my own kid. My nerves were so bad when I got home - I sat in one spot for about an hour thinking about it all. When I had a talk with him about it, he seemed to not understand what he did or why he did it, yet he was very "sorry". It almost seems like he blacked out.

I'd like to think I am a good parent and I do everything I can to raise respectful children that behave. Yesterday was the first time I felt soooo out of control and felt like a failure. It could be the hormones that had me so much in my feelings, because I know kids will be kids, but at the same time, I don't want to ever feel that feeling again.

Any suggestions on how to handle toddler tantrums in public?
 

Ssandra

Member
I am so sorry. And at the same time you are pretty lucky that this is the first time...

What I do with my daughter when I don't want to carry her (she's almost 5 and heavy!) is to just walk away. She'll keep crying but follow along, little by little. And besides that... well... I know that whenever I see a mom handling a tantrum child in public I feel for her and I have compassion. No judgement. I think most people, especially parents, are the same. Cut yourself some slack. You are a great mom and are doing the right thing.
 

Tiajanay

Member
When my son is having a tantrum I let him have the time to be upset. This defiantly cuts down on the severity of the the tantrum and frequency because he can express himself and feels like his emotions are being heard. I know it sounds awful but kids don't have a lot of control over their emotions and we have to let them get it out sometimes just like we need to.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen people about at cashiers and don't feel ashamed at their behavior. So why do we hold our children to such standards when adults can hardly do it themselves.

Don't worry about judgement because other moms and good parents know that sometimes kids get out of hand and we all need help sometimes. It truly takes a village.
 

JBee

New member
I am so sorry. And at the same time you are pretty lucky that this is the first time...

What I do with my daughter when I don't want to carry her (she's almost 5 and heavy!) is to just walk away. She'll keep crying but follow along, little by little. And besides that... well... I know that whenever I see a mom handling a tantrum child in public I feel for her and I have compassion. No judgement. I think most people, especially parents, are the same. Cut yourself some slack. You are a great mom and are doing the right thing.
Thank you Ssandra! That's a good idea and something I will try should it happen again. I appreciate your response and kind words :)
 

JBee

New member
When my son is having a tantrum I let him have the time to be upset. This defiantly cuts down on the severity of the the tantrum and frequency because he can express himself and feels like his emotions are being heard. I know it sounds awful but kids don't have a lot of control over their emotions and we have to let them get it out sometimes just like we need to.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen people about at cashiers and don't feel ashamed at their behavior. So why do we hold our children to such standards when adults can hardly do it themselves.

Don't worry about judgement because other moms and good parents know that sometimes kids get out of hand and we all need help sometimes. It truly takes a village.
Great point lol. I've also seen adults act a complete fool at the register when something doesn't go their way. At the moment my son was having his breakdown, my thought was to just get him out of the store because he was crying so loud. I think that is what sent him over the edge because he wasn't quite ready to leave lol.

It does take a village to raise children. The woman who came over to help me explained how she was a grandmother and often times witnesses her daughter struggle with her few children. I was very appreciative of her help and I wish I would have said more than just "thank you". I was so embarrassed and just wanted to get away from the store and didn't want to hold a conversation. I hope she didn't walk away feeling like I didn't appreciate her help :-/
 

Top