Seeking Relationship Advise

[Jatelo2]

I used to have a girlfriend but she passed. Since then, I've found it difficult to settle in any relationship...always feeling it will end tragically. What worries me most is the fact that I lost my girl in 2011 (7 years ago) yet I still can't settle down with anyone. I've reached a level where I fear commitment like leprosy.

Is this normal or should I seek help?

Thanks for helping out

 

[Ssandra]

It is normal, and yes, you should seek help.

A therapist can help you manage those feelings and help you create a more fulfilling life for yourself. Not that you need someone else to have that, but living with fear is not nice at all.

 

[Alwazsmthn]

I agree with Ssandra— you are experiencing a completely normal thought set. You must know that your thoughts and fears are irrational because you’re asking for validation. I’m proud of you.

Having someone to talk you through the thoughts and fears and experience is very healthy.

Look at your best friend or your niece or nephew if you any. If they suffered such a loss, would you want them to step back from possibilities? Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to your heart.

 

[rejuvenate]

Yes I agree with what others have written. It seems you do want to be in a relationship again but is afraid (understandably). And recognizing you would like to get over the fear is the first step. Now, it is figuring out how to move forward and having someone to help you through it (provided you are ready to).

 

[johnson-kendall]

I also agree with the other posts. I am a trained clinical social worker and I believe that you should seek out the help of a therapist. Hopefully you can find the right one that can understand your situation and how you are feeling and help you navigate dealing with the loss and learning to settle down even though you have faced such tragedy. It is not easy so I commend you for trying. You might also be able to join a group with people who have been through what you have been through, that can also help.