I’m sorry to hear your friends are going through that. Narcissistic abuse is all too common, but there are several online resources available. Your Tango has several articles on the topic (
https://www.yourtango.com/experts/joanne-brothwell/9-signs-toxic-relationship-suffering-narcissistic-abuse), and there are also forums for advice from abuse survivors (
https://narcissistabusesupport.com/common-traits-narcissist/). Online communities also exist. I’ve found several insightful accounts on Instagram - @noblenav, @narcissistpurge, @npd.awareness.recovery, and @narcaware_survival.
This is wonderful of you! Thank you so much! I will pass these along to them. One has been able to divorce. Their kids are grown. The other has a much stickier situation. She adopted his two children from his first marriage. The younger of the two girls was an infant. He made sure his ex-wife (who was not mentally capable fo raising the girls) did not get custody. They have since had two children together.
He is on disability from a job in a prison after he left the military. He has been physically abusive to her. He cannot lift their toddler. She has a full-time job which pays fairly well, but the debt they have incurred for their home and his use of joint accounts is more than she can handle on her own.
She is afraid he will want the kids 50/50 to be spiteful. He cannot physically care for them. He also takes pain medication that renders him loopy. When he chooses to hurt her, he will be an attentive daddy, but when things are calm and normal, he is not attentive or patient or loving.
Sadly, her family is in another state. She really has no family here to help. She has some friends which are great things, but not quite the same. He, on the other hand, has his family right here. They all side with him, of course.
It is stressful and abusive for her. He has profiles on dating sites and does communicate with other women. He gives her the third degree if she gets a haircut or a new shirt. She does not dress provocatively or anything like that. She always works a second part-time job to help with the bills as well. He has no respect for her and hounds and nags and insults her. He has caused many of her old friends to distance themselves by threatening e-mails and not being a nice man.
I hope she can find some advice and so on through these resources too. I know she has a counselor. All the help we can gather is wonderful.
Thank you so much!