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Moving On From Friendships

NewMama

New member
I recently cut ties from some friends who I had a complicated relationship with. For the longest time, I put up with certain things that I shouldn't have because I was afraid to miss out on things and afraid of what life would look like without these people who had been my "friends" for so long. I feel better not having to worry about those people anymore, but I did spend a significant amount of time with them, and I feel like I'm missing something.

Has anyone out there been through something similar? What was your experience like? How did you go about finding a new group of friends?
 

JESSICAX34567

New member
Hi New Mama, I totally understand what you're going through. I had the 3 best friends anyone could wish for in high school, and we made all these promises to each other about growing old together, being our bridesmaids, godmothers, etc. Point blank, after high school everyone went their separate ways. At first, I was hurt because we had such close ties, our families were friends, we knew so much about each other, and we had gone through tough times by each others side. Three years later, I am finally appreciating the fact they did not stay in my life. Its good to know that I am doing just fine without them. In fact, I found new friends, better friends, with true intentions. Real friends will come to you when you least expect it, you should take this time to focus on yourself, and loving yourself. In no time you will find yourself surrounded by those who really, truly care about you.:)
 

Cdixon1225

New member
Losing friends, as hard as it may be, is extremely beneficial to your growth and general well being! Like JESSICAX34567 said, cutting ties with those friends ensures you don't become co-dependent on another person. there is nothing worse than realizing you needed someone much more than you had originally intended. Branch out, join clubs with hobbies you enjoy (creating a meaningful relationship is easy with shared interests). My personal experience in losing my best friend was purely my fault and does not really apply to the question, but the experience is un-nerving to say the least. Stay positive and keep active. Friends will surround you when you start radiating a light in which good people follow.
 

hayeske

New member
If you live in a city, I recommend the site Meetups and looking for Facebook events near you. I moved to NYC without knowing anyone, and I made a few friends through book clubs and dog playgroups.
 

ImagineIt!

New member
I recently cut ties from some friends who I had a complicated relationship with. For the longest time, I put up with certain things that I shouldn't have because I was afraid to miss out on things and afraid of what life would look like without these people who had been my "friends" for so long. I feel better not having to worry about those people anymore, but I did spend a significant amount of time with them, and I feel like I'm missing something.

Has anyone out there been through something similar? What was your experience like? How did you go about finding a new group of friends?
For most of my life, I wasn't someone who had a large circle of girlfriends. But, when I turned 40, I met a woman who had moved to Arizona from back east because she wanted to start a new life for herself. I was from back East so we had a lot in common to begin with (similar backgrounds, etc) She went out of her way to become my friend, and we became the best of friends for about 12 years. We were both single for most of that time and we did everything together, vacations, you name it. We talked on the phone everyday and we were always there for each other during stressful times, bad breakups, etc.
Then she met a guy who, I think, felt threatened by me. He convinced her that I wasn't as good a friend to her as she was to me (maybe he was right). Anyway, she ended the friendship. I was devastated. This woman knew more about me than any other living human being. It was a lot like ending a romantic relationship, as far as the way it felt emotionally. I've never replaced her but then I've never really tried. I have girlfriends, but none of them comes close to the special bond I had with my previous friend. To this day, I can't think about it without getting really sad. I guess I don't understand how someone can just walk away from such a major part of their life and not look back. Maybe I had more culpability than I'm choosing to remember. In any case, it hurts, and it's hard to imagine ever having such a close friend again.
 

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