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Making New Friends as an Adult

Jerz0

New member
I have lived in three different cities in five years and, the older I get, the harder it is to make new friends in a new place. When I was in school, I made friends easily. Now that I am out of school and I work for myself, I am having more difficulty making real connections. How have you made genuine friendships out of school? What recommendations do you have for an adult looking to make new friends?
 

mhess

New member
It helps to find weekly hobby meetings in your area! I joined a knitting group and a swing dance group in my hometown and met so many new people. The fact that a mutual hobby brought you together gives you plenty to talk about, and the friendships just blossom from there!
 

Sflom

New member
I have lived in three different cities in five years and, the older I get, the harder it is to make new friends in a new place. When I was in school, I made friends easily. Now that I am out of school and I work for myself, I am having more difficulty making real connections. How have you made genuine friendships out of school? What recommendations do you have for an adult looking to make new friends?
I feel you on SO many levels on this. I struggle with the same thing. I have work friends, but I also believe in keeping business and pleasure separate. So I feel that I have to maintain a certain sense of professionalism around most of my work friends. That, and most of the people in my industry are significantly older (late 30s or older) with families. I am only 28 with no spouse or children.
 

NewMama

New member
I was seriously just thinking about writing a post about the exact same thing. We really do take for granted how easy it is to make friends when we're young and in school. I've been finding myself trying to figure out how to make new friends lately because I just had a baby, and it's very isolating, especially when most of your friends don't have kids and you find it hard to relate to them or even get together with them because of newly clashing schedules and interests.
 

Master

Member
Yeah it's a bit harder but that's mostly because our brain has grown into thinking that it's really hard to make new friends.

In reality, everyone is looking for a new, valuable friend. So why not be that for that SOMEONE?
The first step we need to take is to put ourselves out there and stand for something, and people who appreciate that will be more than willing to be friends with us. So i'd say:

Stand for something and let it be known.

Attract what you are.
 
WOW, I was thinking about the same thing earlier today. Talking about the law of attraction, huh? Since I am a freelance writer, I often have these thoughts, and the idea that I am going to spend the rest of my life isolated from the world quite terrifies me. I love what I do, but not being surrounded by cool people is a deal breaker for me. That's why I decided to change something and look for people on Facebook who are in the exact situation as I am. As a result, I met quite a few interested people, or should I say, colleagues? So my advice to you is to never underestimate the power of Internet.
 

tploeger

New member
I've run into this problem as well. My boyfriend and I recently moved to a new city and while we still maintain old friendships we have, many of our friends live far away. We need to meet local people but we just don't know how. Should I just go knock on my neighbor's door and ask if she wants to hang out? That's something I did as a kid but I feel like it would be weird as an adult.
 

Sflom

New member
I've run into this problem as well. My boyfriend and I recently moved to a new city and while we still maintain old friendships we have, many of our friends live far away. We need to meet local people but we just don't know how. Should I just go knock on my neighbor's door and ask if she wants to hang out? That's something I did as a kid but I feel like it would be weird as an adult.
One thing that has been recommended to me to meet new people is to connect via a social sports league (kickball, softball, etc.) or to look into MeetUps (where you can connect with people of similar hobbies/interests).
 

NewMama

New member
I've run into this problem as well. My boyfriend and I recently moved to a new city and while we still maintain old friendships we have, many of our friends live far away. We need to meet local people but we just don't know how. Should I just go knock on my neighbor's door and ask if she wants to hang out? That's something I did as a kid but I feel like it would be weird as an adult.
It is such a weird thing. I guess social expectations are just different when you're older. I"m super bad at small talk, too, so that the hardest part is to get over that initial getting to know you phase that's filled with small talk. Yesterday, I was at a birthday party where I knew very few people, and I tried to chat with some people and it was just terrible. I never know what to say beyond the cliche small talk stuff people typically start with, and that's never really that interesting.
 

tploeger

New member
One thing that has been recommended to me to meet new people is to connect via a social sports league (kickball, softball, etc.) or to look into MeetUps (where you can connect with people of similar hobbies/interests).
I've never heard of MeetUps, I'll have to check that out, thanks!
 

tvanr802

New member
I was seriously just thinking about writing a post about the exact same thing. We really do take for granted how easy it is to make friends when we're young and in school. I've been finding myself trying to figure out how to make new friends lately because I just had a baby, and it's very isolating, especially when most of your friends don't have kids and you find it hard to relate to them or even get together with them because of newly clashing schedules and interests.
I always worry about my friends who just had kids. Seems natural to kind of draw back a little. My partner and I do a lot to make sure they have all of the support they need. Bring 'em wine when they have a night off.
 

FarmerJennie

New member
It is such a weird thing. I guess social expectations are just different when you're older. I"m super bad at small talk, too, so that the hardest part is to get over that initial getting to know you phase that's filled with small talk. Yesterday, I was at a birthday party where I knew very few people, and I tried to chat with some people and it was just terrible. I never know what to say beyond the cliche small talk stuff people typically start with, and that's never really that interesting.
Small talk comes easily to some people. It doesn’t for me. There’s nothing wrong with preparing a few topics before you go to a social gathering. When in doubt, ask questions! I live in a rat-race city so I always try to avoid talking about work. “Where are you from, originally?” is a good conversation starter. You could ask “What are you most looking forward to this Spring/Summer/Year/etc?” If I’m with a group of people, sometimes I ask something like, “Ok, I’m always curious to ask this question to people as an icebreaker - if you could go back to school for any topic (money no concern), what’s the one thing you’d like to study that would be surprising to people that know you?” (There are a million questions you could think of like this.) The important thing is, plan a couple questions going in - people love to find things they have in common with others!
 

Nick90

New member
If you went to college, a great way to meet new people is through your school's local alumni association. You'll find a lot of people of all ages looking to connect and you'll already have something in common. I got involved with my local club when I moved to my current city, and most of my close friends were made there.
 

r.nuno29

New member
I have lived in three different cities in five years and, the older I get, the harder it is to make new friends in a new place. When I was in school, I made friends easily. Now that I am out of school and I work for myself, I am having more difficulty making real connections. How have you made genuine friendships out of school? What recommendations do you have for an adult looking to make new friends?
I think this is something that almost anyone who moves continuously struggles with. This was my case too. I moved to FL my junior year of high school and I'll tell you that since my graduation in 2013 I don't keep touch with any of my high school friends. I'm a very shy person and it was always hard for me to make friends. I have amazing friends that I met outside of school. I enjoy going to the gym and met my friend Liz here. Since then, I have made friends through her mutual friends as well as my workplace. My best word of advice is just be kind to others and they will come! I've found its better to have 2 or 3 really close friends than a bunch of acquaintances.
 

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