How to stop caring about how other people think of you

[rejuvenate]

Whenever I am rejected or get negative feedback, I start to overthink things and think what could I have done better? Or differently? It then spirals into I'm not good enough and it lowers my confidence. Mentally, I know I should not care about what others think and am working on trying to not be in my mind and the phase of 'beating myself over it' and move on to the 'so what' phase. Any tips and tricks to get over things quicker? Or does it just get easier with age?

 

[Captain Obvious]

This can develop into several problems if you are unable to stop, think, evaluate, apply and resolve (STEAR). I know it's not a real word but the method works. For example, when you are worrying about what others think, STOP! Then THINK about the reasons why you are worrying. Are they really worth worrying about? That's the EVALUATE process. When you realize there's nothing really to worry about then you can APPLY the changes in thinking and RESOLVE the problem.

 

[rejuvenate]

Thank you! I love this acronym. It is simply brilliant. Stop just means stop! It's your cue to pause and evaluate and decide to how you want to "stear" clear of old habits!

 

[JessicaW]

I like that acronym. I will have to keep it in mind for myself in the future. I go through periods of over-analyzing or going on high mental alert when someone criticizes me.

 

[EJDarnell]

Mindful thinking usually helps me.

I enjoy the idea of not taking anything personally, including things I say to myself at times, I sometimes feel that our biggest critics and monsters are found within the walls of our own physique, my belief or how it works for me is: I attempt to give yourself a break every so often about things, the past and ground myself to the present, take a deep breath and relive the moments of the day, the week, the hour and trying not to worry, those have been or are the key to my process of how I see and experience life.

Now, I have slight agoraphobia and other situations going on, so I cannot accurately say I am someone who'd know more about it, but I can safely tell you that humans tend to forget that we all look at everyone as a mirror of ourselves at times, and if that image doesn't fit, then that image starts to frustrate us, it's easy to categorize people and that's not fair to you, your mirror is your own image of yourself, what others have to see in you isn't going to make you any less or any more, it's all about how you feel and if being in a box you don't find fitting isn't what you want, then don't get in the box.

Everyone is taking their own road, remember that your own is going to be just as or more, maybe less wonderful but it'll be your own, and worth it.

Hope this helped.

 

[Edzky_18]

Been guilty of these overthinking thing most of the times, especially when I was younger. I think I develop the habit when I started staying with my single aunt during my college years. I was very sensitive to whatever my aunt and other relatives would say about me and my family so every time I wanted to do something, I found myself worrying first of what others would think of me if I do that and these.

It's already after I worked far from our hometown, that I gradually fight the idea of over caring about what others will say or think of me. Though the overthinking thing visits me once in a while. Whenever it knocks on my door, I usually divert my attention to the opposite and positive thoughts. And sometimes I would utter to myself these words... "To h_ _ l with them! ", just to do away with the bad threads of thoughts.

 

[Seeker Best]

I must say I have an exact issue of this manner, considering what other people think of not only my behaviours but also, my look and this has plunged me into a psychological defence mechanism which Sigmund Freud referred to as repression. It can cause, you a lot of anxiety if you keep controlling your natural self, the unconscious/id as Freud called it.


However, I'm trying as much as possible to care less about what people think about me, for how many peoples' predilection shall I suffice? It can set my head spinning.

 

[ethanez]

Like many have stated above, I also struggle with this issue! I have recently begun to try to analyze things from a broader perspective. I ask myself how does this impact me on the grand scheme of things. In many instances, it is truly not a big deal and the negative feedback is actually an impetus for me to grow and adapt!