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How do you take care of yourself when others need your care


New member
How do you make sure that you still take care of yourself when you are taking care of others? A dear friend had a mental health crisis recently and I was so concerned I asked her to spend the night with me, so I could look after her. Well one night turned into 3 days of me watching over her, paying for any groceries and food, setting up therapy appointments. I am so glad that I could help her, but I realized I was so busy taking care of her, I forgot to take care of myself. I didn't take my medications, wasn't sleeping, etc. I know it is important to find balance, yet I keep putting her needs first because they seem much more important.


New member
It's not that her needs were more important, you are just a GREAT friend who was worried. You sacrificed three days to help your good friend become stable. I feel like you should think of it as - it was only three days! She needed you and you were there. I really believe that whatever you put out into the universe is what you will get back. Because of the love and sacrifice you offered this friend in need, you are due to receive something greater in return. Don't feel bummed about it :)

Balance is definitely key. If you were still taking care of your friend beyond a few days then obviously yes, you would need to make sure that you are taking care of yourself as well. How to do that? Maybe calling in some extra help from the outside if it becomes overwhelming? Mostly I think you should just keep in mind that you cannot take care of anyone else if you do not take care of yourself first. Can't pour from an empty cup :)


I have this problem with my family and I've always been the one to care for my.mom and brother and keep everyone centered through their emotional and mental breakdowns. But now that i have a son of my own I have to focus on myself and my need and focus on making sure he's not effected by their breakdowns. I don't want my son to grow up like i did walking on egg shells taking care of family before self. But that has been hard and I've had to break habits like jumping for everyone else's needs. I have to make time for myself and son to be apart from all the drama and work so we can just be us away and apart from them. We need balance and I'm just now realizing what that means in my life


New member
Your friend is lucky to have such a supportive friend like you! But it sounds like you are emotionally and physically drained. I think the first step to putting yourself first, is to listen to what your body and intuition are trying to tell you. Are you tired? If so, ask yourself what do you need? what boundaries do you need to set? Because in order to be able to thrive and continue giving, it is important to recharge yourself first.


New member
I think that's amazing that you were so self-sacrifing for your friend! I hope they appreciate you!

While I think what you did is extremely honorable it is so important to make sure you take care of yourself. I'd recommend setting timers on your phone so that you continue to take your medications and do the things you need to for your own health. I also think it's good to do something as simple as take a long, hot bath or shower so that you have some time to yourself where you can pamper yourself and mentally recharge.