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Honesty and Modesty in Self-Development

AdamC

New member
One thing I've found really helpful over the years is being completely honest with myself regarding my strengths and limitations, and then being modest regarding how quickly I can make improvements. In college, I was a Division I track athlete. The development adventure, supported by some amazing coaches, was a thrilling adventure. However, I found that sometimes there was frustration. Nine times out of 10, this frustration was due to the fact that I was immodest when it came to my development expectations. I wanted to be faster right away, or jump higher or farther instantly. I thought with the right amount of effort, that was possible. I was wrong.

Eventually, I figured out that the best way to go about the journey was to set modest goals and rejoice whenever they were achieved. That resulted in many small "thrills" every time I reached a goal.

I've adopted this approach in the rest of my life as well. For instance, when I was building a house for my wife and I, I didn't wait to celebrate the completion of the house. I celebrated the completion of the framing, the siding, the drywall, etc. It made the whole experience more joyful.

And, then, when I experienced a failure, I never blamed it on someone else. I took complete responsibility with all honesty. That kept me grounded in reality, instead of a world of defensive deflection. That has also helped in other areas of life because even though you have to humbly admit your errors, you also get to take complete ownership of the successes--while still giving credit to those who helped you.
 

A_wrenn

New member
I feel like this is a lesson that EVERYONE needs to learn. It is a common and accepted reaction to failure to blame someone else, rather that take personal responsibility for our failures as well as our successes. We also tend to want immediate reward and gratification, but if everything was instant, we wouldn't truly appreciate them because there wouldn't be the old-fashioned "sweat equity." We also need to recognize where we fall short in order to make progress.

I often find that I like the initial burst of progress that I make when undertaking a new project or learning experience. I recently began learning to play the paino and have really enjoyed the quick progress I've made (having some background in music with the guitar, the concept of the music I am trying to play transfers instruments fairly readily). But now that I've learned the basics, I find myself frustrated with my speed of improvement and already started to look at another instrument to learn, the violin. Thankfully my wife was able to, correctly, adjust my thinking. "You've already got two instruments you can improve on." Not saying you can't pursue other interests before you've completely mastered one, but dedication to a craft is what truly allows for mastery in the end.
 
M

magikheart

Guest
I enjoy writing, and I think it is safe to say that it is nearly impossible not to remain modest. How can you not when other people read what you write, and then critique it? Sure, it'd be easy to blame the reader and say "They just don't get it," but who is that helping? The idea of modesty and honesty with one's self is probably one of the hardest lessons to learn in life, but as A_wrenn pointed out, this is something everyone really should learn. How often can we blame others for the silly mistakes or failures we make?
 

AdamC

New member
I feel like this is a lesson that EVERYONE needs to learn. It is a common and accepted reaction to failure to blame someone else, rather that take personal responsibility for our failures as well as our successes. We also tend to want immediate reward and gratification, but if everything was instant, we wouldn't truly appreciate them because there wouldn't be the old-fashioned "sweat equity." We also need to recognize where we fall short in order to make progress.

I often find that I like the initial burst of progress that I make when undertaking a new project or learning experience. I recently began learning to play the paino and have really enjoyed the quick progress I've made (having some background in music with the guitar, the concept of the music I am trying to play transfers instruments fairly readily). But now that I've learned the basics, I find myself frustrated with my speed of improvement and already started to look at another instrument to learn, the violin. Thankfully my wife was able to, correctly, adjust my thinking. "You've already got two instruments you can improve on." Not saying you can't pursue other interests before you've completely mastered one, but dedication to a craft is what truly allows for mastery in the end.
Don't quit the piano! I took lessons for years when I was younger, and eventually I stopped. I wish I hadn't. (The violin is very cool, though.)
magikheart makes an interesting point: using our skills can be a nice little humility tool. Never thought about it that way before. But my limited piano skills have definitely served to humble me lol.
 

A_wrenn

New member
Oh don’t worry, I’m not planning on quitting the piano. I’ve wanted to learn the piano for many years. The guitar has been my instrument of choice for 15+ years but I love how some people can make the piano sound. I’m an active musician and lead the band at our local church. I’m looking forward to being able to play in public on the old ivories.
 

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