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Help with Social Media/Phone Addiction

aturbow

New member
My fiancé is addicted to his phone. He jokes about it, but he knows he has a problem with it. I find it to be entirely disappointing because when we first started dating he never brought out his phone and I remember thinking how nice it was that this guy in his 20s could go a couple hours without checking his phone and focus his attention on getting to know me.

The thing is, I'm 30 and just like him grew up with technology and understand wanting to check your phone periodically for messages and social media updates or email. What bothers me, is that in the middle of a conversation, with me or when we're out with people, he'll just pull out his phone and start scrolling. Not only is it incredibly rude, it is hurtful and makes it impossible then to have a conversation with him about it.

We've discussed this before and whenever I explain how it hurts me that he's more interested in responding to his group chat with his buddies from back home than listening to me tell him something he feels bad and makes a concerted effort to change his habit. Inevitably though, he ends up being obsessed with his phone again.

Has anyone else dealt with anything like this or been successful in kicking their phone/social media habit?
 

nfilas

New member
Hi,
I am sorry you are dealing with this. My husband and I argue about this a lot. He comments on it about me and I comment about him. For me the reason I do it is for a few different reasons.
One is boredom (say in the show we are watching), two is feeling uncomfortable especially if we are with a group of people and the conversation is something I can’t even comment on. This will happen say when my husband is with his family and reminiscing especially when I’ve already heard it. His family is huge into this and it’s hard when you don’t know that part of their life and you’ve already heard it. A third reason will be if I am feeling ignored by him for some reason I will get on my phone just to occupy myself and not be feeling so upset.
I don’t know about guys, maybe it’s not that deep for them. But maybe he is feeling bored, uncomfortable or ignored. Maybe talk to him and find out what his explanation of it is. If he can articulate the reason like I have here maybe the reasons will make sense to you or maybe they will even make him realize what he’s doing and why.

Good luck!
 

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