Fight or Flight Response

#1
It's instinctual. Rooted deep within our subconscious by eons of survival of only the fittest. But how do we control primal instincts in a world of instantaneous consequence. We cloak them in colloquialisms like "ghosting", when in reality, it is our most basic primal instinct to take flight when the fight is not worth the scars. I always clam up, shut down, take off, go ghost, and I am tired of lamenting the inevitable isolation that follows.

What methods have you found effective in mitigating your fight or flight tendencies during confrontations into a more rational response?
 

jay05

New member
#2
Usually, the flight response stems from fear of the unknown. A self-imposed reality check is a great way to address that. If you're thinking of fleeing, in whatever sense (physical or metaphorical), think to yourself "If I confront this [situation/etc.] directly, what's the worst that can happen?" If the "worst" that can happen is... things will be briefly, mildly awkward for you, well, then it's time to suck it up and learn how to deal with some awkwardness. Since you mention ghosting: if the "worst" that happens is you might hurt somebody's feelings, well, if it were you on the receiving end, which is worse: being told directly the reason that something isn't going to work out with another person, or suddenly never hearing from them again and being left to wonder what happened/what you did wrong/what could you have done differently? The golden rule applies to this one.

And finally, if the "worst" that can happen is something genuinely existentially dangerous or bad, you always have the option to flee. Just make sure you're being reasonable and honest with yourself in drawing that conclusion.
 
#3
Jay05, you are exactly right! I'm blowing the unknown factor way out of proportion. Sometimes it takes someone else to get you out of your own head. Thanks for taking the time to read my post and write such a pragmatic response, I will definitely ask myself these questions before overthinking the next confrontation.
 
#4
Jay05, you are exactly right! I'm blowing the unknown factor way out of proportion. Sometimes it takes someone else to get you out of your own head. Thanks for taking the time to read my post and write such a pragmatic response, I will definitely ask myself these questions before overthinking the next confrontation.
Happy to help!
 
#5
The feeling of fight or flight is generally used in highly stressful situations involving danger or violence wherein adrenaline is released in the bloodstream and gives one the energy to fight or flee. You're generalizing fight/flight to social situations that simply make one uncomfortable which while stressful are not life/death. I agree with Jay5 comments.suggestions.
---Just a comment on 'ghosting'. I dislike certain new terms like ghosting or catfishing because they in some ways legitimize uncool and or unethical behaviors by attaching a clever term for them. The cover is always something like, everyone does it and so often, there's a word for it. Ghosting is just a callous way to extricate yourself from a relationship in some way other than what you'd expect from a civilized person. If you're going to engage with people, learn to disengage as well.
This isn't aimed at the OP or anything, it's a generalized rant.
Another ex is 'bootie call' I pity the girl or guy who accepts this status im/ex plicitly. Another one; 'plates' eg. she's one of my plates as in multiple plates I keep in rotation presumably for sex. Not sure if the plates themselves know they are part of the act. It's like when people, mostly women, will call out an activity and ask 'is that a thing?' seeking validation. If yes, then a name for it is ivented/attached, and now its on its way to becoming an acceptable or even cool way to respond to or think about a given situation.
It isn't.
 
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