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Developing close relationships

LaVagabonde

New member
I'm naturally an introvert, but I've learned to put myself out there and get involved. I know a lot of people, but I still have trouble developing close friendships, other than with my husband and one of my childhood friends. Any advice?
 

OlgaC

Member
As I get older I realise that my best friend is my husband. I don't have any best friends besides him. I have some good friends, that I've known for 10 years, that I can talk to, but I feel that we are drifting away from each other.
Recently I became a mother, and my friends are still single so we have different interests.
I don't think there is a certain way to create a close relationship with someone, it either clicks right away or it doesn't.
I don't mind having my husband as my best friend and my girl friend 😁 Maybe I will make new friends with other mothers, maybe I won't. The most important thing for me is my family. Friends come and go...
 

chsarahahmed

New member
Developing close relationships takes time, and the older you are, the more time it takes. I have two friends from school that I have known since school and who I can trust with anything. But now I find it very hard to make new friends. Even if I do make new friends, the trust and chemistry just aren't the same. I would say if you find someone you like or click with, just give it time. Friendship can't survive without trust and building trust takes a good amount of time.
 

JBee

New member
I was listening to a speaker about friendships. His overall message was that we are not designed (humans) to be in isolation and that building relationships are necessary - but should be heavily regulated. Not everyone has your best interest at heart and some people will use you or only like you for what you can do for them rather than for who you really are. That is why some fear developing close relationships. This speaker says we should recognize that there are "fake friends" out there but we should not stop developing relationships because of it. What we need to do is set boundaries in our relationships and not allow others to take advantage of us - for we are a limited resource.
 

BrigS

New member
I have your same issue, I'm an introvert, and have always had a difficult time making friends. If you have a husband and a childhood friend, that's already more than I have. Any time I have come close to making a close friend, it turns out they're not the person I thought they were. It can be frightening to become close to people, because what happens when they ghost, which seems to be de rigeur for everyone these days. Honestly, the older you get, the less you're willing to put up with from other people, so we keep self-selecting down to a smaller and smaller group.
 

Nick Torn

New member
I think that the development of friendly relations can be regarded as a game. It is advisable never to intrude on a person, but always help if he asks and ask him for help too. I think that you need to talk about interesting topics for this person if you are interested in getting friends with him.

In fact, such relationships can be strong enough and you can get some benefit from them, for example, help from these people. But do you need it if it's not interesting for you? I do not need a lot of friends and I have a great time alone or with my girlfriend. What is the point of friends, if you do not need it?
 

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