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Dealing with political differences

tdp1205

New member
In the charged political climate that is the United States these days, you're almost inevitably going to disagree with a family member, coworker, or friend about their political beliefs. How do you deal with those in your everyday life whose views are diametrically opposed to yours? Just not talk about it? Table the discussion for another time? Try to discuss rationally?

tdp
 

btelli

Member
Typically, I try to avoid the conversation altogether. This is especially true if I get the sense that the other person doesn’t value other people’s opinions or gets extremely defensive at an opposing view. Sometimes it can be difficult to test the waters, but if I find myself immersed in a heated political debate, I’ll try to find some type of common ground and follow it up with agreeing to disagree.

If the other person seems pretty open-minded and is willing to just bounce ideas and opposing opinions off each other, then that’s great! More of a reason to keep up a conversation with them.
 

Moty_Vatyd

New member
This is probably going to sound bad but so be it. After 40 years of following politics very closely, including helping to run local campaigns, and rallying around causes that I felt were important I've decided that none of the causes are really all that important. I realized that all of these "critical" issues never really affect me much no matter which way they turn out. And, if they do it's in a very small way. So, now instead of investing a ton of time "discussing" (meaning arguing) over global or national issues that I really have no control over, I focus on things I can do to improve myself. Learn a new skill, practice a language, exercise etc. Arguing over political issues always seems to turn negative quickly so when someone wants to go in that direction I usually just nod my head in agreement with whatever they say, be it left or right. Most people don't even know what my political leanings are. Everyone wants to change the world nowadays but most of them can't even make small changes to themselves. They want to exert their influence over other people but lack self-discipline themselves.

So, I've given up on the larger issues and focus on building my own financial well-being and health. It sounds selfish, and it is, but that's the mindset I have now after over five decades of life.
 

tdp1205

New member
This is probably going to sound bad but so be it. After 40 years of following politics very closely, including helping to run local campaigns, and rallying around causes that I felt were important I've decided that none of the causes are really all that important. I realized that all of these "critical" issues never really affect me much no matter which way they turn out. And, if they do it's in a very small way. So, now instead of investing a ton of time "discussing" (meaning arguing) over global or national issues that I really have no control over, I focus on things I can do to improve myself. Learn a new skill, practice a language, exercise etc. Arguing over political issues always seems to turn negative quickly so when someone wants to go in that direction I usually just nod my head in agreement with whatever they say, be it left or right. Most people don't even know what my political leanings are. Everyone wants to change the world nowadays but most of them can't even make small changes to themselves. They want to exert their influence over other people but lack self-discipline themselves.

So, I've given up on the larger issues and focus on building my own financial well-being and health. It sounds selfish, and it is, but that's the mindset I have now after over five decades of life.
I think that’s an interesting way to look at it. You seem to have found something that works for you, and that’s good.

I have had kind of the opposite thing happen; I didn’t really pay that much attention to politics or issues until recently (always voted, though). Also, in my case, most people that know me know my views, so I can’t just sort of go along with whatever people say.
 

lpvander

New member
It's a common saying to never bring up religion, sex, or politics up at the dinner table. Because it just leads to an argument. Undoubtedly, these are incredibly touchy subjects, as everyone has their own unique relationship to it. But they also incite arguments because of morals and principles. One simply can't let a topic slide because it's taboo to talk about. It can boil down to what you believe is right and wrong.

In my own family, I've noticed how different our views are concerning the MeToo movement. Beyond just noticing, it in fact pains me to learn what they think of it as a movement itself and its motivations. But this just comes back to my own unique relationship to that topic versus their own casual opinion to it, without any real stake in the matter.

I believe not speaking your opinion or truth in a conversation because it might upset your friend or family is its own form of self-sabotage. In that process, you can feel shamed or embarrassed. You might be scared to say anything because you want to keep the status quo of relationships. But honestly, in my own experience, if you come to the conversation willing to take the time and patience necessary to at least attempt to change their opinion, establish that bridge, that's better than not saying anything at all.
 

tdp1205

New member
T
It's a common saying to never bring up religion, sex, or politics up at the dinner table. Because it just leads to an argument. Undoubtedly, these are incredibly touchy subjects, as everyone has their own unique relationship to it. But they also incite arguments because of morals and principles. One simply can't let a topic slide because it's taboo to talk about. It can boil down to what you believe is right and wrong.

In my own family, I've noticed how different our views are concerning the MeToo movement. Beyond just noticing, it in fact pains me to learn what they think of it as a movement itself and its motivations. But this just comes back to my own unique relationship to that topic versus their own casual opinion to it, without any real stake in the matter.

I believe not speaking your opinion or truth in a conversation because it might upset your friend or family is its own form of self-sabotage. In that process, you can feel shamed or embarrassed. You might be scared to say anything because you want to keep the status quo of relationships. But honestly, in my own experience, if you come to the conversation willing to take the time and patience necessary to at least attempt to change their opinion, establish that bridge, that's better than not saying anything at all.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I agree with you about wanting to maintain the status quo in a relationship. I have actually let a few friendships go over politics in the last several months, not just because I disagree with their opinions, but because of the fact that they are so belligerent and/or bullying with their opinions. The trouble is more with family, since it's not always easy or even possible to let those relationships go.

I have one brother-in-law in particular whose views are pretty much the opposite of mine on everything. We still love and respect each other, though (well, at least, I do :) ) The only problem is, on the rare occasion when he and my sister are visiting, he watches a channel that I would not be caught dead watching :)

I have no problem discussing politics with someone I disagree with, as long as they are respectful of my opinions and genuinely want to know why I believe what I believe. Some people seem to like to use that type of discussion as a way to disparage, though, and I won't stand for that.
 

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