Being Too Future-Oriented

[lashley101]

When it came to my own personal success plan, I used to be someone who liked to plan WAY far out into the future. I would constantly be thinking about what I will do, what I want to do, what I hope to do, etc. However, it was really hard for me to break out of this future-oriented way of thinking most of the time and simply live in the present moment (which I´ve gotten much better at and has improved my quality of life).

I think that overall, thinking about the future and having a loose plan is really great. But, I´ve found for myself that trying to plan too strategically for the future usually ends in disappointment, stress and anxiety.

Any thoughts regarding being someone who lives too much for the future? Is there such a thing?

 

[BrigS]

Definitely there is! Of course the best choice is to always be present, and live in the moment, but that's very hard to do. I agree with you that having a loose plan is a good idea. I think the problem we run into is attachment. We become attached to a very specific outcome, and the stress comes from judging ourselves as not good enough when that very specific outcome doesn't pan out. Meanwhile, we might have been successful at 900 other things, but overlook them because this one thing was a failure. I think it's important to realize-- and I only know this because my therapist has to keep pointing it out to me-- people who succeed have failed more than anyone else on the planet. The difference between them and other people-- the difference that makes them an eventual great success-- is that they didn't give up in the face of so many failures when other people did. Very successful people often appear crazy to other people for a very long time, who wonder why the person doesn't just give up after "screwing up" so many times. But I think life is like being solider in a lot of ways-- in the end, the expert is nothing more than the person who managed to survive.

 

[EverdayEmpowerment]

When it came to my own personal success plan, I used to be someone who liked to plan WAY far out into the future. I would constantly be thinking about what I will do, what I want to do, what I hope to do, etc. However, it was really hard for me to break out of this future-oriented way of thinking most of the time and simply live in the present moment (which I´ve gotten much better at and has improved my quality of life).

I think that overall, thinking about the future and having a loose plan is really great. But, I´ve found for myself that trying to plan too strategically for the future usually ends in disappointment, stress and anxiety.

Any thoughts regarding being someone who lives too much for the future? Is there such a thing?

Very good point. From a very early age what concept is beaten into our brains? It's all about the future! When you're a kid, they ask you what you want to be when you grow up. In middle school, you cannot wait to get to high school. In high school, you cannot wait for prom and graduation and getting to college. One of the most important things you can do in life is to stop and smell the roses, and I would suggest doing this more than anyone else around you. After all, the things that people regret the most in life are the things that they don't do, not the things that they do.

 

[Chris Jeff]

Being a future-oriented person allows you to plan ahead. Since planning is a crucial part of every project, focusing on the future clearly helps you in achieving your goals. You can mentally visualize every step of the process, predict possible obstacles and envision your success. But what happens when things don’t go as planned. Would you be able to adapt and move forward? That’s where it gets tricky for people who deal with anxiety. Oftentimes, they’re excellent planners and thinkers, but poor ‘doers’.
Although it might relieve you of the tension caused by worrying, the present-oriented lifestyle can’t eliminate all the negative effects of anxiety. Being in the present doesn’t mean that you’ll magically gain social skills or become less clumsy. The physical signs of social anxiety don’t just disappear, the only difference is that you’ll probably be less worried about the future.
Being Future oriented and present oriented are good and bad at the same time. The best thing you can do is pick ‘the good’ out of each perspective. You can do this by simply focusing on the context, the nature of an event. For example, if you receive good news, be happy. Put aside your troubles and enjoy this wonderful moment. When you a task, put aside the present and focus on how you’re going to complete the job (future). It’s all about shifting your time perspective, depending on the context and the nature of the event. You can be both present and future-oriented as long as you know when to use each perspective.

 

[Master]

Yes well, I'm sort of a day-dreaming person and I like to imagine the future a whole lot.

What helps me is to have some sort of general goal for the future, nothing too specific.
I don't like to be locked down on "specific" paths either way, so keeping it general helps me a lot.
And as time goes by, my views change and I simply "upgrade" my general view of the future.

And of course, when it comes to present, just try to do as much work without worrying whether it's the "right" thing for your future.

This is what works the best for me!