Recent content by jay05

  1. J

    Definition of Success

    The best definition of success I have encountered is that it means getting up every day and doing what you want to do, when and how you want to do it. That's a very fluid definition, but it is also sensible. If I like my day job, and I want to get up and go do it every day, then I am successful...
  2. J

    Kitchen Therapy

    I find that cooking can be like meditation, and it's a rewarding endeavor for the type-A personality who likes to have control of things. There's a discrete beginning (gather the necessary ingredients), middle (the, you know, cooking part), and end (time to eat!), which means a built-in reward...
  3. J

    Fight or Flight Response

    Happy to help!
  4. J

    Dealing with credit card debt

    New credit cards with zero-interest balance transfer promotions were a big help to me in the same situation a few years ago. The obvious caveat here is you can't go sign up for the new credit card and then run up debt on that too. I was very disciplined with the new card; I used it literally...
  5. J

    Fight or Flight Response

    Usually, the flight response stems from fear of the unknown. A self-imposed reality check is a great way to address that. If you're thinking of fleeing, in whatever sense (physical or metaphorical), think to yourself "If I confront this [situation/etc.] directly, what's the worst that can...
  6. J

    Maintaining Motivation

    I struggle with this constantly. The most obvious advice I have ever received for dealing with it is both near-insulting in its simplicity and also near-perfect in its accuracy. It is: just start. If you can make yourself start, you will continue. That sounds like a bit of a Catch-22, because...
  7. J

    Types of Meditation

    I have found the practice of mediation to be profoundly enriching and rewarding. That being said, I know there are many different types of meditation. Some of my favorites use deep breathing and visualizing the chakras. I tend to stick to what I know when it comes to meditation, but I am...
  8. J

    Making time for self development

    There are so many recommendations out there for being the “best” version of ourselves, what to do as well as what not to do. Academic studies are consistently proving that there are numerous and diverse physical and psychological benefits to eating right, exercising enough, meditation and breath...
  9. J

    Exercise for mental health

    In college, I was involved in a large-scale study measuring the effects of exercise on anxiety and depression. As a participant I was required to exercise 30 minutes three times per week, keeping my heart rate above a certain level for the full 30 minutes. The heart rate control always meant...
  10. J

    Archetypes for self-transformation

    Throughout my life I continue to encounter books and discussions about archetypes. Not only how they have the potential to shape our culture and sometimes skew our reality but also how archetypes can be used in a positive way to change something about our behavior or way of life that no longer...
  11. J

    How to -not- undercut yourself

    As I have gotten older I have started to realize that confidence does not translate to others through being boastful and arrogant. I have found that true confidence has nothing at all to do with self-promotion, but is, in fact, quiet. Some people have referred to this characteristic as “quiet...
  12. J

    Podcasts for Self Improvement

    Thank you for sharing those suggestions. I have had many “aha!” moments listening to the podcast “On Being” with Krista Tippet. Krista Tippet always interviews others in her podcasts. Some of her podcasts delve into expert advice about different self-help ideologies, while other interviews tell...
  13. J

    The Fragile Bond, by Augustus Napier

    This book may be out of print now, but it's the best single book on family and therapy I've ever read. The author goes through the various forms of dysfunction that can be present in families (while most families have some type of dysfunction, he's talking more about more extreme cases, not just...
  14. J

    How to pursue writing as a career

    I've always loved to write, and lately I've started to wonder if I could make a permanent career out of it. I've joined UpWork to try to get freelancing gigs, tried my hand at some poetry and short fiction, have outlined an idea for a novel, and have started to build a portfolio. What advice do...
  15. J

    Trying to Save More, Spend Less

    There is a secondary market on the internet for, quite literally, almost anything. My wife and I have made thousands of dollars in the past two years from selling things we no longer want or need. (It doesn't hurt that we both come from families of hoarders and have received tons of...